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Over-Reacting? Maybe It's Because Of Depression...

10 more days to THE CLICK FIVE'S CONCERT in Genting!!!!!!!!!!!!









OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I'm so uber excited and I certainly can't WAIT!!!!!!!






Can't you see the pain inside of me?






I'm feeling a whole lot better today. Better than yesterday, if you really wanna know. I'm currently trying my best to hide my true feelings deep down in my heart cause showing my true feelings might make the people around me feel bad. Feeling bad cause they can't help me in any way. And I try so hard to hold back my tears when I saw words from you to her, but I can't. No matter how hard I try, tears would just welled up in my eyes. I know some of you might be thinking, "It's childish of her to blog about this" or "Oh gosh. I'm sick of reading all these emo posts in blogs, and here's another one". But to tell you the truth, I have no where else to pour my feelings into besides than my blog. Diaries or journals are not safe anymore, as people will trespass it whenever you forgotten about it and left it on the table. Writing a song, well... Love songs heard on the radio lately are sad and emo, so why bother to crack my brain for the right words for another dumb emo song of my own? I can't believe that I actually cried yesterday for a whole hour before I sleep. Gosh. I cry beacuse fo you.







I've been playing the guitar for 3 whole days. Whether I'm watching tv, eating, or even doing house chores, I'll just grab my guitar and start playing. Signs of depression? Maybe.








Vanilla ice-cream with raspberry and caramel syrup. How I wish eating this can make my life sweeter...






.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
I still have feelings for you. It just won't seem to fade away...

True Heart's Confession.



I did a hell lot of house chores today. After I ate my breakfast while watching E! News and The Daily 10, I did the laundry. Then, I water the plants. After that, I washed the toilet. Next, I cleaned up the entire living room, as in, every inch of the living room. Then, I swept and mopped the floor. About 5.10 pm, I cooked dinner. End of house chores after cooking dinner.



House chores to heal a broken heart? It helps just a little bit.



If I tell you that I'm okay everytime you ask, I'm just lying. How can I be okay after that? I'm not mad, but I'm just... I'm just upset. You see, ****** plays a big part in my life. Losing him is like losing Lamby (my lamb soft toy). And I'm not gonna hide my true feelings anymore. Now I am upset, lost, heartbroken and teary. I know, I should've just take it easy, but you know... It's kinda hard to take this easy. The words on IM to one another stabs me hard at the heart. Sad and emo love songs on the radio brings tears to my eyes. The pain on my fingertips relates to the pain that I'm feeling.



I don't need space, I just need time to heal. I just want to hear honest and sincere apologies. I just need love and support from others. I need a holiday getaway. Better still, I wanna pack up and leave this place for awhile. That's all I need and want. Nothing else.



I feel down and gloomy. I want to be in Disneyland, where happiness only exists there. I wanna write more songs and stories, to express my feelings. Mostly, I want my broken heart healed before the mid-term break ends.



I don't know what I just crapped about. Sorry if I offended any of you.




.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
It's the right time to sing my songs.

Tagged.



It's been awhile since I did a tag, so here you go, another tag! (tagged by Shauna, anyways.)




1. What is the most important thing in your life?
Everything that I have now. =)

2. Will you consider a sexual relationship before marriage?
Obviously not. -.-

3. Do you smoke?
No. I'm NEVER gonna smoke for my entire life.

4. What is the latest gadget you own now?
A white Toshiba laptop. Mine. =D

5. Who did you mostly text yesterday?
Liesl.

6. How old are you and are you a virgin?
I'm 15 and of course I'm a virgin!

7. What is the latest thing you bought with your money?
A magazine about the Jonas Brothers, as in the whole magazine. Pop Star magazine, to be exact. xD

8. Chocolates, Oreo or vanilla?
All of the above. =P

9. Where do you wish to get married?
Good question! I wanna get married in Disneyland!!!! After the ceremony, I can go for all the rides with my new husband. How cool is that? xP

10. How old do you think you will be permenantly be owned by love?
When the right time and the right guy comes. =')

11. How many kids do you want?
I like kids! But 2 or 3 should do good.

12. Are you in love?
I just got my heartbroken.

13. Where is the latest restaurant you have dinner?
I think a restaurant in Kota Damansara...

14. What is your full name?
Joelle Chew Sue Teng.

15. What is the latest book you bought?
Erm... I haven't been book-shopping lately. But I can tell you what is the latest magazine I bought. (refer to question 7 for answer)

16. Do you prefer your mother or father?
You know what, that's a really dumb question cause I love both of my parents equally. :)

17. Do you believe in God?
Yes.

18. Name the first person you want to meet in life for the first time?
JOSEPH ADAM JONAS (then comes his family, of course)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

19. Christina or Britney?
Christina. Britney is not that bad, anyway.

20. Do you do your laundry?
Yeah. I'm a good girl. :D

21. The most exciting places you want to go?
Australia, Los Angeles (especially Hollywood), Anfield and all the Disneylands!

22. Hugs or kisses?
Both? xP

23. Single or attached?
Single. So call me if you're feeling lonely. I'll kill your lonliness away.

24. Point 5 things about the person who tagged you.
- My life-saver in Arts class!
- H O T!
- A very good friend.
- A big fan of DAVID ARCHULETA and JESSE MCCARTNEY. Wait, and Chace Crawford as well.
- A crazy, hyper, laughing machine. xD







.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
11 more days!!!!!!!!

Here It Comes...




Have any of you heard that Camp Rock is premiering here, in Malaysia on September 21 this year? OHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!! I so couldn't wait! But... It's kinda near to PMR, right? But I'll still watch it some how. =P






Camp Rock!!!!!



The cast of Camp Rock. From left; Meaghan Jette Martin, Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato, Kevin Jonas, Anna Maria Perez de Tagle, Jasmine Richards and Alyson Stoner.






Joe Jonas plays the guitar in this movie. *falls flat on the floor* He looks so hot in this pic!!!!





Here's a song in the movie, sang by Joe Jonas (WHEEEEEE!!!!!). Love this song to bits and it's currently stuck in my head. If you did take note, it's the song on top of my blog page.




Gotta Find You: Joe Jonas (Camp Rock)

Everytime I think I'm close to the heart
What I means to know just who I am
I think I've finally found a better place to start
Where no one ever seems to understand
I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be you're not that far?

[Chorus]
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you


.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
The truth unveiled. I really have to let go of you now.

Labels: , ,

Pictures On 21/5/2008.

Pictures took after Scouts photoshoot for the school magazine. It's all with our beloved Miss Qiu Hui since she didn't take any pictures with her after the closing ceremony for Scouts Camp. xP






Zhen Ni, me, Qiu Hui and Lydia. =)


Qiu Hui and sis...








Me and Qiu Hui with a forage cap behind us. o.o


Jun Yi and Qiu Hui.





Qiu Hui and Lydia.




.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
You break my heart, mend it, and break it again.

Teacher's Day 2008, 23rd May 2008.

Yup. An update about the special day. Here you go... (:






Played Frisbee about 8.10 am. Let the pictures do the talking!









Before playing Frisbee, my sis, Liesl, Miss Ngoo and Wen Min had a picture together! (I'm the photographer of the day, so I'm not in most of the pics.)




Took these pics when my sis caught the Frisbee. ^^


Liesl was about to throw the Frisbee...


Liesl caught the Frisbee!





Farhan throwing the Frisbee to Liesl...




Wen Min catches the Frisbee, in style. xD



Catch Jian in action, y'all!






Guess who's the dude who threw the Frisbee? x)





My sis injured her left thumb and Wen Min's skin peeled under her left feet again. So, off we go to the St. John's room...








The two injured humans in the St. John's room....






Soon Jian Sheng, the guy who treated Wen Min and my sis. He's a good guy nurse. =)








After they got treatment, we went off to 3G cause Liesl and my sis are rushing off to finish their Geography project since they need to pass it up on Teacher's Day itself.








Catch all these hardworking people (who camwhores as well while doing their job) in action...





I'm holding the card that the students of 3G are giving to their class teacher. It's so sweet of them to give that cute card to their beloved class teacher.






Me and Liesl camwhored while waiting for the last 2 geeks to finish their Geography project. xP










The last two geeks I meant who are still rushing to finish their project while everyone was done with theirs. =P




Proceeded to the school hall to watch the performances later...




Liesl, me and sis in the school hall. Credits to Ainaa who took this pic.




One of the bands performing. (I know you love this pic, Liesl. *winks*)


********************************************


Just drop by to update about yesterday's event in school. The school holidays are here, that means... THE CLICK FIVE CONCERT are only TWO WEEKS AWAY from today!!!!!!! OMG, I can't wait!!!!!! I'm sooooooo excited!!!! Okay, enough babbling and excitement friom me, signing off...


*******************************************************


Did I mention I abseloutely love clouds? Anyways, took these while the others are playing Frisbee.







.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
...Awkward...

American Idol Season 7's Winner!!!!!!



Guess who won American Idol Season 7? By the way, I was shocked when I knew it...





DAVID COOK!!!!!!!!!





I was expecting David Archuleta to win, but noooo. I was wrong. David Cook won. Hah! In your face, Archuleta's fans (actually, I'm one of them. I love both Davids)! Oh well... I bet the both of them will be very sucessful. =)



*************************************************



Celebrated Teacher's Day in school today. Had lots of fun and I injured myself. Long story about that. Took lots of pics as well. Will post in the pics as soon as Liesl sends them to me.




Alright, got nothing to blog about, so I guess I'll just sign off here. Will find a topic and update soon. Bye peeps. Have a very happy holiday (can't believe the holidays are finally here!)!!!




Can you believe that this is actually a cupcake? xP (FYI, Ainaa found it for me.)


.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
When I met you, the world seems so much brighter.

K850i.

My second time blogging today. Okay, I'm pretty bored now, so let's talk about new handphones.





This, is my new dream handphone. Wait, I don't even have a dream handphone last time. LOL. Anyways, back to the topic...






K850i.




The features are awsome. This phone has:



  • Auto focus
  • Picture wallpaper
  • Red-eye reduction
  • Video stabilizer
  • Digital Zoom
  • Video record
  • BestPic
  • Video streaming
  • Wallpaper animation
  • Image stabilizer
  • Xenon flash
  • Video Clip
  • Video call
  • Picture blogging


It's available in 3 colours;




Luminous Green.



Velvet Blue.



Quicksilver Black.



Oh, whatever colour it is, the phone is awesome. With so many features for the camera, K850i is the phone that i desperately want!!! I know this is Wei Qin's next phone. xP






.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.

The chance that I'll never get.

Scouts Camp 2008. A Moment To Remember. =)




I'm back!!!!! Wooooooo! Scouts Camp 2008 rocks to the max! Okay, I promised all of you that I'll fill you up about the camp (for those of you who didn't attend it). So, here you go.... I know it might be only words and very little pictures, but I hope that you will read it to know how fun the camp was to me. =)





Saturday, 17th May 2008.

Woke up at 4.30 am. Call me crazy, but it's considered late for me. I have to wake up that early to cook the chicken that I'm bringing for camp (it saves time when I'm cooking). Then, I showered and waited for Wen Min's mum to come pick me up and send me to school along with her. As soon as we reached the school compound, I went up to Zhen Ni and prepare some stuff. We, Patrol Leaders (PLs), wanted to give our seniors (BOD members and ASMs) 100 Plus cans each to show our appreciation to them. So... We took 15 cans of 100 Plus (if I didn't get it wrong) and pasted orange papers on the cans. The papers read;


"TO BE CONFISCATED AND GIVEN TO
*the names of our seniors and their posts*


Then, a few of us (PLs) hid a few cans in our bags and pray hard that they will not find it (so that we can have it to ourselves!). xP Registered about 6.30 am, then go through baggage inspection and went to the campsite (our huge and smelly school field) to build our tent. Me, Wen Min, and Yee Fung along with her sis shared a 4-men tent. Me, Wen Min and Yee Hsuen set up the tent (cause Yee Fung's patrol haven't got their bags inspected). Setting up a tent ain't that hard though.





The girls' campsite.



The guys' campsite

After that, we had an opening ceremony, then followed by classes for Lencana Keahlian (for new members and those who haven't took it), Lencana Usaha (for those who passed Lencana Keahlian) and Lencana Maju (for those who had passed Lencana Usaha). I was starving to death when I was attending the Lencana Usaha class cause I didn't take breakfast (yes, I know, it's my fault).



Ate lunch at 12.00 pm. I cooked fried rice for my patrol (yeah, I'm proud of myself. xP). And... We had W-A-T-E-R-M-E-L-O-N!!!!!!! Calvin, Julia, Rushan, Jun Yi and my sis "attacked" me. Anyways, it's a good thing that Wen Min (my very good QM) thought of bringing watermelon for my patrol cause the weather is extremely hot. At least I made them happier. xD Continued our classes awhile until 3.00 pm. Made "Plaster of Paris" for Lencana Usaha. No picture cause it's ugly. Games after classes.


First game: HALANGAN KOMANDO. There were 8 stations. First station; "human" wheelbarrow. In pairs, one get down and crawl with their hands while the other hold the legs of the partner. Second station; star jumping. Star jump 'til the next station. Third station; crawling under tables. Crawled under tables which is a "S" shape. Fourth station; turn 5 rounds around a stick. To make us feel dizzy. LOL. Fifth station; crawling under the net with mud on our elbows. That made my elbows bruised badly. And, Qiu Hui threw mud on my face until my mouth had some mud in it. Sixth station; duck walk. Duck walk on a sand-filled path. Seventh station; rolling in mud. Anton threw lots of mud on me and said "You think you and your sis are twins, so cannot kena mud ah?" LOL. Eight and last station; jump in boxes while avoiding the boxes which has flour in it. If you stepped in the box which had flour in it, restart from the seventh station. I ended up getting lots of scratches, bruises, cuts and even rashes. =S




Second game: WATER BOMB "WAR". Went to the back of the school compound (around the Taman Herba) in our muddy clothes. The BOD members and ASMs are one team and the other 166 of us are in a team. But, there's a catch. The BOD members and ASMs can invade our territory but we can't invade theirs. Now, that made the game hard for us. There's a line to separate our territory and theirs and we were given lots of water bombs (water packed in plastic bags). When the game begun, the juniors kept throwing the water bombs while the seniors didn't. So, we ended up having very little supply of water bombs. The seniors used their water bombs wisely and also used pails to splash us. We had lots of fun, anyways.



The game ended at 6.45 pm and we were given time to wash up, cook and prepare for Cultural Night (Malam Kebudayaan) until 9 pm. I washed my hair at the water pipes at 3F and ran back to the school hall's toilet to shower. Reached the spot where my patrol is cooking when it was nearly 8 pm. Cooked fried rice again (cause I'm afraid that the rice will be spoiled the next day) and had Campbell soup with watermelon. And, the same people "attacked" me again for watermelon. Teamed up with Zhen Ni's patrol (Kenyalang Beta) to perform for Cultural Night later on.


Went to the teacher's car park (near the assembly place) for Cultural Night. Sat in patrols. The PLs who were performing for a sketch gathered at a corner and ran through the performance a few times. We did a sketch about the registration of new scouts members. Guo Hao played the gay partner with Boon Hui, Zhen Ni is the narrator, I was the lesbian partner with Kelly, my sis was the person at the counter, Calvin was one of the senior Scouts member, Johanna and Kai Ning was the semangat new members. I think the audience thinks that the performance was lame, but we PLs who are in it thinks it is funny! Xia Shuen played the guitar and we all sang "When You Say Nothing At All". Love that part the most. Cultural Night ended about 11.45 pm.






Sunday, 18th May 2008.


Lights off at 12 am sharp. But most of us slept after 12 am. Me and Wen Min couldn't sleep, so we talked and stared at the blanket of stars spread above us while Yee Fung and her sis were sleeping soundly.


Spot a white dot in the pic. That's the brightest star of the night. =)





I dozed off around after 1 am. I heard the whistle around 2.50 am so I woke Wen Min up and ran to the spot where Carlson was standing. The BOD members brought us to the assembly place and told us what we were gonna play. We played Operasi Burung Hantu (OBH). We were blindfolded and told true ghost stories. Then, one by one, we were brought to another spot and sit through the game. The BOD members poured flour and water on us. I didn't finish the game cause my knee injury was irritating me and Hui Liam brought my sis to the spot where I was sitting and asked me whether I'm okay. I told him that my knee was irritating me, so he told my sis and I to open up our blindfolds. He went back to the campsite along with me and sis to take the Savlon (cause I'm having it). While Hui Liam was applying Savlon on my sister's knee, I heard a radio playing softly at the background. It was coming from the neighbour school. I asked Hui Liam about it, and he and sis said that they didn't hear anything. They just told me to try not to listen to it and keep quiet about it. At that time, I was freaking terrified that I felt myself shaking badly. Went back to the assembly place and waited for the game to end.




The game ended about 5.30 am. We were allowed to sleep after washing up. But me, my sis, Wen Min and Yee Fung and Yee Hsuen couldn't sleep. So... We ate!!! Well, only me, my sis and Wen Min ate. Then, Clement came over to our tent and chat with us since he's doing rounds at our campsite. He told us about his experiance in a jamboree last year, I think. He left a little while after that and Yee Fung and her sis slept. Me, my sis and Wen Min felt stuffy in the tent, so we slept outside the tent. We opened up my sleeping bag and slept under the stars, again (FYI, my sis didn't go back to her tent that she shared with Zhen Ni and Johanna cause she didn't wanna wake them up). While me and Wen Min were sleeping, my sis took a few pictures...






Me (left) and Wen Min (right). Wen Min's sleeping in a funny position. LOL. xD





The tent that I share with Yee Fung, Yee Hsuen and Wen Min. Messy? I know.





I woke up about 6.45 am and I caught the sunrise. It was so beautiful, but I only got a few pics...







The clouds during sunrise. Beautiful, I tell you.




A jet passed through the campsite and I caught this pic. Lucky me. =D





A weed. The first thing I saw when I opened up my eyes. xD






Beautiful, ain't it? I didn't regret waking up at 6.45 am.





Carlson blew the whistle and gathered us. Told us that we were given time until 8.30 am to wash up and eat breakfast. Washed up and cooked breakfast with my patrol members. Had French toast and Campbell soup and WATERMELON. Okay, the same people "attacked" me again, maybe not all of them.








The nearly-finished watermelon...







Caught me in the act. I was slurping down the juice. xD


Attended classes after breakfast cause our exams were after the class. Took exams at 11.05 am. Then, cooked lunch and pack up until 2.15 pm. The BOD members gathered us at the assembly place and separate cleaning jobs to the patrols. Cleaned up until nearly 4.00 pm I guess. Then, we played a game called "Crack The Code". Lazy to explain the game. xP Closing ceremony about 5.00 pm. Congrats to the people who won for the awards. PLs were given 1.5 litres of 100 Plus for their patrols. Camwhored after the ceremony.








A group pic with some of the PLs and APLs.





"Look over there!", "Wow...."





I would like to rate this pic PG-13. Gays in this pic.



Presenting.... *drum rolls* Miss Minh Hui!!!!!





My sis and Wei Qin. It looks like my sis is angry at him. LOL. xD



My sis and "watermelon dude" (Calvin Chee). x)






Guo Hao and my sis. Best pals. Hooligan and gay. xD








Zhen Ni, Calvin, Justin, Boon Hui, Guo Hao, Wei Qin and my sis with Kok Wai.





The same gang with Chiet Chun and his guitar.





Me and Guo Hao. =)




Guo Hao, Justin, Wei Qin, me Zhen Ni and my sis. Pals. :)




My sis with Tze Herng. They look alike, don't they? xP




Justin, Wei Qin, Guo Hao and Zhen Ni with me and Tze Herng.




My sis and Lydia. =)




Xiao Fong and Ee Suen was pouring water on Jia Yi when I took this pic. Nice water effect? xP


Me and Lydia with Yiyang and Guo Hao at the back. LOL.


*******************************************

In conclusion, I had lots of fun throughout the camp. Although it's tiring, I enjoyed it very much. I'm sorry for times when I got mad and lose my temper.


Gotta run. Have to complete my History project. Will update soon. Bye!!!






My favorite picture. It's just perfect. =)




P.S: Supposed to post this in 2 days ago. And sorry for not addressing the BOD members and ASMs "Sir/Miss". Was typing very fast. =)

.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.

The moment you touched my hand, nothing else mattered. :)