[WARNING: SKIP THIS POST IF YOU ARE FEELING SAD/DEPRESSED/EMO]
I leave you like how winter leaves spring,
With a heavy heart without thinking,
I don't want to patch up again,
Cause the pain will be the same,
Will you ever think about how I feel?
No, cause you never think I was real.
The school bell rings. I grabbed my bag and zipped it as I join the sea of students at the corridor. Everyone was talking about their plans for the school break next week. I tiptoed and kept an eye in case I saw him. My, I was lucky! I caught a glimpse of him as I made my way down the stairs. I didn't manage to catch up with him until I reached the bottom of the stairs. We started talking, and I mentioned that I missed having conversations with him. He said that he saw me revising everyday during recess, so he didn't want to disturb me and that's why we didn't talk for three weeks. I was all cheerful cause I finally get to catch up with him, but the smile fades when he told me that he had found another one. He said he is getting closer to her. I feel tears rising in my eyes. "Ouch, that hurts SO badly," I said with a sarcastic tone in my voice. "Yeah, I feel your pain, too," he said in reply to match my sarcasm. I meant what I said, but I don't think he got my message. He knows I have feelings for him. He knows. Never mind, as long as he is happy, I am happy. Yeah, right. Maybe I am not what he looks for in his dream girl. I am not good enough for him.
***
I wrote a song during the Chinese 2 and Islam 2 paper on Friday since I didn't sit for both papers and I have 1 hour and 45 minutes to waste. I thought of posting it in my blog cause it is, again, one of the most meaningful songs I've ever written.
Welcome Back by Joelle Chew
[Verse]
We're chatting on IM, the conversation starts
I wanna know how you're doing, questions were asked
Did some catching up, told you 'bout stuff
Listened to your story, I felt bad
I mentioned I've been there, where you are right now
[Pre-Chorus]
It was then, I realized
There was a change
I feel a, wave of
Nausea in my veins
[Chorus]
The familiar smile on your face
Brings back the lost memories
That I couldn't forget (oh-woah-oh)
The way you throw your head back when you laugh
Made me realized I've missed you
All this while (oh-oh)
I thought I was losing you, I was afraid
But not anymore, now that you're back
Welcome back, the old you
Welcome back, best friend
[Verse]
You told me you feel guilty, for what you've done
I said the past is the past, so leave it all behind
Keep your focus to the future, I encouraged you
You told me you missed him, you missed his smile
Forget all 'bout him, he is the past
[Pre-Chorus]
It was then, I realized
Love makes you blind
Love makes you, think of him
Even if he breaks your heart
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
All those times watching you
Through the corners of my eyes
Is now far from my mind
There's no need to think twice
I'm glad you're back to you
Finally being yourself
[Verse]
Then I came to a point, where I said I missed you
Unexpectedly you said, the same thing too
I wish we were talking, face-to-face
I wanna give you, a big warm hug
I wanna tell you, "Welcome back"
[Chorus]
Welcome back, girl
I personally dedicate this song to my very best friend, L. This is for you, best friend. I guess this is how we feel now. I hope you're okay. :)
And this next song, is the most special song ever written cause it was the first song I wrote on March 29, 2008. I got inspiration by reading a poem that Shauna wrote.
Not The One For You by Joelle Chew
[Verse]
Sitting here, writing and dealing with the blues
Since you confessed your true feelings
There's nothing much I could do
Knowing that she's my friend, and you're mine too
[Chorus]
Pain and jealousy invaded me
Can't believe that it is true
Tears came rolling down, I can't help it
But I gotta face the truth
I'm not the one for you
[Verse]
Wasting time, I'm lying down on my bed
Singing the songs that you used to love
Life goes on, can't turn back time
Although you left me hurt, I have to move on
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Oh, all the memories that we had
Just seem to fade away
No, I won't forget them all
No, I won't
No...
Pain and jealousy invaded me
Can't believe that it is true
[Chorus]
Not the one for you...
I wrote another song yesterday. Just finished the chorus. This song entitled 24 Hours is a song written through my personal experience in 2006, and the same thing repeated just a few months back, in a different situation. Am I that bad in relationships?
24 Hours by JCST
[Chorus]
This may sound crazy, but
It's over for us in 24 hours
I have a dream that we would last longer
He called it quits with me on the next day
I warned him, "You better get out of my way"
I sat in a corner and cried alone
When he is out of my sight and far-long gone
I never thought he would be the first one
To break my heart in 24 hours
To those of you who chose to read, I am sorry for making you sad/depressed/emo along with me. I tried to hold back, but I can't. The pain is excruciating. Too much.
.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
I never thought that happened to us.