Broken edges.
The room is in pin-drop silence. The whirling of the fan blades and splats of rainwater on the window filled the still air with rhythm. The cool breeze that swept past the cracks of the half-closed door gave tremendous goosebumps to the epidermis of the skin. I sat in bitterness, watching droplets of water slip down the glass.
Where is this road taking us?
We are going no further, nor nearer. Go straight ahead, like what people would advice. But no. We just have to take detours along our journey. We just have to pick up the pieces of mistakes others left in a trail and find faults. We just expect people to know what are on our minds and care for us. We say stupid hurtful things that get us all into a brawl. We put on an immature act to have others notice us in their very eyes. These are all unintentional but could be avoided, if both parties would gladly raise the white flag and give in.
Is this all worth it?
What happens if this is the reason for broken hearts and lost friendships? It is such a shame to throw something beautiful and delicate into a trash can. It takes years to build one tough friendship, and to get at least on true friend is one in a million. However, the immature acts and harsh words spat tore down the bridge to one's friendship in an instant.
So where do we stand now?
Having to see us crossed with each other isn't a pretty sight at all. One slight misunderstanding/mistake could lead us into a conflict, thus makes us say words we swore we will never say to that particular person. Tears of anger and sadness would be shed, leaving us standing at opposite sites bitter.
Would there be a chance to turn back time?
Maybe it is not about you and me all these time. Maybe it is about me and my foolish acts. I am the one trying to travel back to time ever so desperately to rewind back the fond memories I had throughout this year. I became an ass, a jerk, an idiot; anything you would like to address me. I put on an act in front of almost everyone I knew, because I couldn't find me. I have been searching for who I truly am for 16 years, and yet, still no luck. I don't know if I will ever find the real me, the real life that I want. For now, I am living a life full of pain and sadness deep inside, but on the surface, I make life as lovely as an island vacation. I feel lost at so many points of life, as though I am standing on a street with loads of signboards telling me where to go to next but I am never sure of which way to take. I take the wrong ways all the time.
Do you feel my pain?
I have taught myself to keep everything away from everyone this year because someday people will get sick and tired of the sad emo life you made. Have this ever crossed your mind? Somehow, I stopped believing that your true friends will be there through your ups and downs with you because no one did show me that quality of a friend. I have only very few friends that will be there everytime I needed company, but like I said, they will too get tired of sticking around with me after some time. They have their own lives and problems too. So why not take a chance to stand up on my both feet when I can because as I grow, friends will be outworn, just like your shoes as you grow older.
Keep it to yourself.
Don't tell me some bullshit after reading this because you have no idea what am I ranting about all the way. I am just being crappy and moody like I have been throughout the year. You may call me a bitch or a drama queen, but you have no idea what I have gone through, so shut up and move on with your blissful life. I don't if anyone's ever gonna read this, but this is what that has been on my mind for a few months and I am glad that I have the opportunity to let part of it out. You have no idea how good I feel now. Not good, just better.
Go ahead and waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had you fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along, like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along, just to make it through
Move Along by the All-American Rejects
But you don't know what you got til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
Everytime you smile, you laugh, you glow
You don't even know
No, no
You don't even know
A Little Bit Longer by the Jonas Brothers
Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known
That I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To come around
White Horse by Taylor Swift
It's been awhile since I cried like this.
.:.:.:.:$[u]E t[E]nG:.:.:.:.
Whatever it takes.
